


Day 8: Gun

by vampirepunks



Series: Blood & Water: Moments from N7 Month [8]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Backstory, Earthborn (Mass Effect), Ficlet, Gen, Light Angst, Pre-Canon, Protective Siblings, Sacrifice, Shepard Twins (Mass Effect), Tenth Street Reds, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 09:54:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27469081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampirepunks/pseuds/vampirepunks
Summary: Jane has had different guns for different phases of her life. A reflection on the choices that started her journey.
Series: Blood & Water: Moments from N7 Month [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2000095





	Day 8: Gun

Jane was fifteen the first time the Reds put a pistol in her hands. It felt like a cinder block in her gangly arms, the kick of it leaving her wrists and elbows sore after target practice. She’d gained a good aim under pressure with time and experience, but it was a long, hard process as they built up her skill and physical condition. It was months before the weight felt natural. The barrel was ever so slightly warped, which she’d learned to compensate for. It was a standard problem. Most of their weapons were second-hand or salvaged--the stolen ones were kept in pristine condition, but the seasoned members of the gang got first pick. On her seventeenth birthday, Paloma let her practice with her SMG. It was a beautiful weapon, domestically crafted, aged but maintained impeccably. It was lighter than even her pistol and had sharp sights she could trust. 

“It is a powerful gun for a powerful woman, _mija,”_ she’d said. “A leader should always have the best gun. One day I’ll pass it on to you.” 

Jane looked at her in surprise. Paloma had always set special attention to conditioning her for leadership roles and tough fights, but the revelation that the woman intended her to lead the Reds one day... It took the breath out of her. The idea grew into the hope for a future. She could expand their resources, start planning to branch out, maybe even get them offworld one day, hit the Terminus systems and grow a crime empire... Live with freedom, authority, and excitement. The idea appealed to her immensely. She’d sit under the stars with Aiden and describe her plans, the things they could do in a bigger world than theirs. Paloma warned her against building her ambitions too high, but encouraged the idea of expanding their reach. Paloma kept her close that year, training her even harder, sharing her wisdom and cautionary tales. Paloma was a hard woman, cold and merciless to outsiders and willing to pay any price for freedom and fortune. 

The day she’d stood in the Alliance recruiting office, waiting her turn behind John, was the hardest choice of her life. She desperately wanted the life Paloma promised, the power she tempted her with, but her brother came first. He always did, he always would. He wanted out of the criminal underworld, had a thirst to do something truly good in the galaxy, wanted to touch the stars with bloodless hands. It was a bright ideal, one that she didn’t relate to, but respected anyway. She had no choice but to follow him. Her father only ever asked one thing of her, practically a dying wish. _Take care of your brother, Janey-bug. Protect him. He’ll need your strength._ She never stopped doing that, throwing herself under fire to safeguard him, literally and physically. Letting John make a choice like that by himself would be a sin she’d never forgive herself. So she chose sacrifice, chose love, as she wrote her name down on the enlistment form. 

She chose to face Paloma and tell her what she’d done. The woman struck her across the face so hard the flesh of Jane’s cheek shone bright crimson. 

“You stupid, _stupid_ girl!” she’d screamed, face contorted in rage. “After all I did for you! You were like a daughter to me, and you throw it all away for _the Alliance?_ The ones who took everything from you?” 

Jane took the blows with a bowed head and whispered, “No. I’m throwing it away because I won’t let John do this alone.” 

Paloma shook her head at that, laughed a dark laugh with rageful tears in her eyes. “Get the hell out, see how much your coward brother means when you die for a cause that isn’t your own!” 

So, she walked away, because John meant everything. He was annoying--a messy balance of self-loathing and self-righteousness, all heroics and excessive sentiment… But he was her twin brother. The bond they shared was deeper than blood alone, it was that of two people that kept each other alive through impossible odds. As Paloma’s words sank in, she realized the two of them were always alone. The Reds didn’t care about who she was, they cared because they could forge her into the warrior they wanted. It was always her and John, the two of them against the world. She’d make the same choice a thousand times over. 

So, her shabby pistol became Alliance standard issue arms, and she buried the malcontent deep in the dark corners of her mind. She did the song and dance, let her better side shine, and let her dreams of freedom go. That is, until a turian Spectre saw through the cage she’d locked herself in, and offered her a key. Just like that, the gun at her side became a Spectre specialty-issue, and she thought _maybe._ Maybe she could have it all. 


End file.
